We have a pair in the trees by the house
the wisdom of posting what some may view as Pro-sloth propaganda. I have recently been made aware of a completely different point of view regarding what I had perhaps erroneously viewed as a cute, may I venture so far as to say 'cuddly looking' forest creature, Choloepus hoffmanni.I can only hope that I haven't portrayed what some have reported as "vicious, violent creatures" in an inappropriate manor causing people to assume they are harmless. I must in all good conscience make you aware of this report;
"I never thought I'd get to tell this story.
Sloths are not harmless. Sloths are powerful, hungry, vicious, violent creatures. Anything you might think you know about sloths is probably wrong, and is further skewed by ridiculous pro-sloth propaganda like this video (which obviously features not a sloth, but a midget in a sloth suit - seen it a thousand times.)
I was deep in the Peruvian Amazon basin in 1998. The rains had come and our dugout was taking on water, fast. We moved closer to shore in case we had to swim when the guide noticed a small palm leaning out over the water. It was bizarre, because the foliage seemed to make a flat green wall separating the water from the forest. This one small tree seemed to be leaping out from the forest, canopy first.
Turns out, a sloth had climbed to the top of the tree and had stretched the damned thing out over the river.
"Good news!" the guide reported. "Sloth is good to have!"
Apparently, it was time to have a sloth.
We paddled up next to the tree and the guide reached up and grabbed the slimy beast. He motioned to me to stand and then he placed it on my chest.
The sloth instinctively clinged to my chest.
The canoe began to rock.
People began to bail out more water.
The sloth began to squeeze.
It squeezed, and squeezed, and squeezed until I thought my collar bones would crumple like toilet-paper tubes. It squeezed the air out of my lungs.
It's bear-like arms crushed my chest and its four vicious claws began to furrow my flesh.
I had no air with which to scream. As the canoe rocked precariously, I squeeked. I squeeked - "Please! Help! Help!"
Gradually, people started to look at me.
"Look, look! He can't hold the sloth!"
I began to suffocate.
"Look! The sloth is hurting him!"
I felt its dire claws puncture the muscles in my shoulders.
"Look at the little nancy boy! Afraid of a little sloth!"
After what seemed like hours, the guide tore the damned thing off of me - the whole time laughing, laughing, laughing. A sloth is a filthy creature covered in green slime, it leaves anyone it touches with an unforgettable odor.
But that night.... that night at the village...
we feasted on fat, thick, rich sloth-meat. It was perfectly ripe with deliciously veal-like fatty goodness... as though the sloth had been careful not to work his muscles too hard... his slothly meats were like mana and to this day I have never tasted anything so absolutely wondrous.
yes... i was mauled by a sloth. But he was a delicious, wonderful sloth. And I regret nothing.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 10:42 PM on October 24 "
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate
convinced me....i am a changed man. i admit it. i was a pro sloth. i finally see the error of my ways....i am now anti sloth.
when government grows, liberty yields, thomas jefferson
Great photos, all of them. Thanks for filling in the Matagalpa gallery for us.
You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in their struggle for independence.
— C.A. Beard