Joe Versus the Volcano

OK, I intended to park this under the detailed & serious treatise on the active volcano a couple countries up the chain. Then I thought better. I saw that movie (subject title) about the time I was taping Kristofferson's "Third World Warrior", which I finally listen to here in Nicaragua a score of years after the fact. Recalling the flick set me thinking.

Some come to this land of volcanoes to die. Sad but true in a few cases. Many today, facing death, opt to have that over-used, diseased shell cremated, dust & ashes to ashes, as it were, rather than park it in a Cadillac-coffin under a marble mausoleum. What's it cost, a cremation, in this limbo land where energy is imported, read costly (gas > $5/gal), despite a solar flux the envy of much of the Earth, anyway, as I was saying, what's a cremation cost here?

Now picture this business opportunity, a two-fer: the body, appropriately wrapped & mounted, is dropped from a helicopter fly-over into an active volcano. Fin. Do it from an old, well-maintained Soviet helicopter, if the deceased desires the authentic Sandinista experience, or so it might be sold. Loved ones could ride along, though they may prefer a new, more reliable chopper. Think of the thrill, of those last, close moments nearer heaven, and the potential for communing with hovering pre-Colombian indigenous spirits. Wowzers, what a way to go!

Good-bye 2013. From Nicaragua, con amor y calor.

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Good idea

but I think with the right volcano and ramp a front end loader could really beat the price war! You could put fancy banners and ribbons on the loader so it didn`t look too industrial.

``Socialism works fine until you run out of other peoples` money``

Margaret Thatcher

You may be onto something Billy Bob

But suppose the volcano burps lava onto your ramp? And with all those toxic gases, the front end loader would have to be robotic (see Google cars) - not cheap. Still, I'd have to talk with the boys at Walmart/MaxiPali to beat what you suggest.

Surely there's an unused circus cannon that'd serve . . . Ringling Bros in Ft. Meyers? Together with the fireworks popular on religious holidays, it could transcend an ordinary two-fer, end-of-life, beginning-of-death bargain experience. Of course, a technical consultation with idle NASA engineers would be necessary for spot-on trajectory calculations. One must think of these as 'moon shots', missing the crater could be UGLY. The fortunate thing about operating in Nicaragua is lawsuits could be easily dismissed as not being in solidarity with those receiving a handsome cut of the profits.

Maybe we could get it written into INSS final rights as a rider on a Foreign Aid bill?

Glad to see you & the Iron Lady are enjoying 2014!