Is Looking for a Woman Bad?

Submitted by fyl on 3 July, 2008 - 18:19.

Jim Buc recently posted some questions. One was about looking for a wife. He got an assortment of comments and the majority were unfavorable. Now, I came here not looking for a wife and ended up with one. But, is there a "proper" way for "a retiring Gringo" to express what Jim tried to express?

I have lived here close to five years now and two years in Costa Rica before that. In my time in Costa Rica, the only women I was close to were Gringas. Quite honestly, while there were certainly Ticas I found attractive, I didn't see how a relationship with any of them would really work. It was, well, that we just "came from different places". When I lived there, a friend said, "women in the U.S. marry for love, women in Costa Rica marry for security".

While I don't think that is a universal truism (and I know women in the U.S. that certainly seem to be married for just security), it does offer a starting point. Even if it is just a matter of them being honest about the situation, it is culturally very different. Jim, with his confession that he was "not looking for love", seems like he may be on the right track.

Now, a lot of posts suggested that it would be very easy to find a woman that just wanted "his money" or, put more delicately, "security". Some will see it as "a business deal" and will fulfill their part of the arrangement. Others may see it as "get what you can and get out".

I know a reasonable number of single woman (generally with an assortment of one or more kids) that don't seem like they are just "wallet shopping" but also really would like to add some security to their life. In the case of all I can think of (and most are family) they don't see to be actively looking—they are just real people living their lives that clearly would benefit from a bit of security.

It seems that the big question is how to you express what you really are thinking about/looking for without coming off as a sucker? This problem, of course, is not unique to Nicaragua but is there a good way to do this in Nicaragua?

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Security vs. Sugar Daddy

Submitted by nicaus on 10 July, 2008 - 22:14.

What is the difference between “security” and looking for a “sugar daddy”? don’t both provide “security”?

In my single days I met many Nicas who were after the “security” I could offer but the one I married was the one who did not want to marry me in the beginning. It took me a few years to “convince” her that I would not do a wham bam thank you mam like most Nortenos. (we have had a few here on the list who have done this).

From the very little I understand of the female population (and I am sure someone will set me straight) men look for good looks, someone who will respect his mother and will never change and a women looks for a provider and who she can change to fit her needs, (and you know we men never change)

I think moving to a foreign country with the expectation of finding love, well is foolhardy. Most of the men (and maybe some women) who partake in this normally have no skills (language/culture) of that country and end up divorced (my experience with 5 of 7 friends/co-workerss).

The comment of "women in the U.S. marry for love, women in Costa Rica marry for security" makes me wonder if a female in the USA would marry a man, who she loved, but he had no job, skills, drive to better himself yadda yadda yadda.?

I have a female friend who I went to high school with who has never married but always falls for the “wrong guy” I asked her why she does not just settle one (she is 45 years old now) and that way she would have someone in her life. Her response was I am waiting for Mr. Right, that one man who I can grow old with and he will take care of me”

Now I know this is just one person but I would like to hear about the ones who married a deadbeat who they truly loved and how it worked.

No problem

Submitted by cookshow on 3 July, 2008 - 19:08.

Like anywhere in the world people are looking for people. Take your time & all will be well.