Kelly Ann Thomas's blog

I am trying to think of a costume for the Pelican Eyes' Halloween Party. There is a category for Scariest and Best Couple. There are some spa gift certificates up for grabs, and spa hedonist that I am, I want to win. So, what I came up with was asking my beloved to dress up as Daniel Ortega and I would go as Rosario Murillo. We could win as a couple, or I could win as "Scariest"!

I was quite surprised to see this email in my NL Inbox. It amazes me that someone went to the trouble of creating a NL account so they could send spam via private email. The least this person could have done would be to make it look Nica-related, but that's too much effort for these scam artists.

From: onethingaboutme To: Kelly Ann Thomas Subject: Dear Date: 13 October, 2008 - 06:04

The most difficult aspect of daily life in Nicaragua for me is the discrepancy between rich and poor. It is evident everywhere - the palatial homes overlooking the bay to the kids begging for money for bread. It is exacerbated by television, which sends a message that everyone else in the world has a big house, five TVs, and 14 cars and no one ever works.

Stephen Kinzer was to appear at El Gato Negro for a book signing on January 6th. Unfortunately, a family emergency has caused him to cancel his trip to Nicaragua.

People ask me why I live here and there are days that I just cannot answer their questions. I don’t know. Most of the time, I am confounded by every facet of life here that there is no time to process it all. It’s like a perpetual roller coaster ride. I ask myself what the hell am I doing here and decide I really don’t like this and then everything comes cascading down and I realize that I made it through yet another adventure in Nicaragua and it’s not so bad and the next hill is a blast and I am looking forward toward the next thrill and then something lurches and I realize the ride is serviced by a Nicaraguan technician with a Blood Alcohol number in a range that indicates sudden death (but he has enough life in him to tell me he once lived in California and, after a few gratuitous sentences in drunken English, asks me for a buck for a beer) and then I start to hyperventilate and lose consciousness, leaving me with no time or energy to communicate with people not in my immediate visual sight because there is yet another hill on this wild ride.

A few weeks ago, I attempted to mail a package at the post office. I have mailed letters and packages in the past, so I know to bring the package unsealed so that the postal employee can inspect the package. Ostensibly, this inspection has something to do with aduana (customs), but it also saves the postal employee from having to open the package later to decide whether or not to steal your goods. I made sure it was known that these were “loco zapatos solamente por una bicicleta” and unusable for walking.

Gates Advocated Air Strikes on Nicaragua By GEORGE GEDDA The Associated Press November 24, 2006

"In 1984, Robert Gates, then the No. 2 CIA official, advocated U.S. airstrikes against Nicaragua's pro-Cuban government to reverse what he described as an ineffective U.S. strategy to deal with communist advances in Central America, previously classified documents say."

Something happened to my quest for a more humble and spiritually enriching life along the quiet coastline of Nicaragua. My romantic life in paradise has turned me into a walking Moon Guide without the witticisms. Worse, I have become one of those people who live almost on the beach and hardly ever actually visits said beach.

It’s just a few weeks shy of a year in Nicaragua and I am back to the beginning. Last night, someone broke into my house while I was asleep and stole my iPod, cell phone, digital camera, debit cards, and about $250. Oh, and the cretin stole my sandals, too! My sand-covered sandals were right next to my laptop, but thankfully my Teva wannabees were more alluring than that thing with the electrical cord sticking out of the canvas bag. Three pairs of sandals in just over a year! What is the world coming to?

Nine and a half months after moving to paradise and I have plenty of things to write about, but no time. I compose beautiful essays in my head, but by the end of the day I have been over-stimulated to the point of incoherence. I converse with fascinating people from all over the world all day long and have my brain is on information overload. I try not to cringe in front of people who introduce themselves to me. I cannot keep track of anyone’s name. I cannot remember the milk and sugar preferences of most of my regular guests. I know the last names of less than ten friends here, which seems to be the norm. There are too many tourists and new residents and returning investors and locals to try to remember the details.